Sunday, September 30, 2012

Mirena Shmirena

       So.....I went in Friday to get my Mirena put in. Of course my days never go easy so I get there, kids in tow, and was told I couldnt have them in the room. So a lovely woman from administration came and walked them around which was fine..i'm there so damn often everyone knows me and the boys. Then I was asked if I ate a big meal beforehand...uhhhh no. Apparently I wasn't told to do this either. Gee, thanks Docs for keeping me in the loop. Made me feel so much more prepared to get this evil devil horned thing put into me. Yes devil horned...we'll get to that. So I get undressed and get on the table, she does the speculum and explains what she's going to do. Well this was after I had a freakout and I had to re calm myself down. But she puts this iodine stuff i guess on my cervix and then sprays this shit that burns on it.I think it's to help numb it. So she measures my cervix and i'm thinking "oh this isn't so reason to be scared" and then she goes to insert it and CRAMP! What made it even better is that the Mirena decides to fall out so she has to reinsert it a second time and HOLY MOLY CRAMP! My friend had hers done and told me it wasn't any worse than a pap. Yeah well i guess if during your pap you feel as if your insides are trying to battle themselves then yeah, i guess you could say it's comparable.

                                           Yes..i put devil horns on the Mirena...

       I was in pain with the cramping. And as I sat up I almost passed out ( which is why they say to eat a good meal). I was given 2 Aleve to take to help with the cramping which once it kicked in was better. I did notice i had some pain in my knee shortly after insertion..strange but it actually didn't subside. I figured it was just my body needing to adjust to it and went and brought N to his appointment. The one good thing for the day was not getting harassed for declining vaccines. Didn't get talked to or anything so at least one thing in my day went right. As the day progressed i noticed I was becoming really gassy and bloated..because I'm trying to not look 5 months pregnant anymore. So yeah, that was bothering me. But then my mood started changing. I all of a sudden started feeling depressed. And not in the "I'm having a bad day" king of depressed.It was a "what if i took a bottle of pills" depressed. Yea, not normal or okay. I realized I wanted it out..and now!

       I did some googling ( yes i said not to google about procedures but I was desperate!) and found that a lot of women were successful in removing it themselves. I figured what the heck, let's try.Well yesterday I could get a hold of it but I was determined to get that fucker out. I dropped trou, laid on the bathroom floor, reached up, found the thread and got a grip on it, ( it feels like fishing line, no wonder I felt it poking me) gave a little tug and out it came. Not a cramp, no blood...i didn't even realize it was out until it was in my hand. I'm wondering if it wasn't placed properly. But i figured since it was just inserted it wouldn't have had time to get embedded and what not. I'm only slightly sore from having to shove my fingers up there to grab the threads. But no more  gas, i don't feel bloated, no more knee pain. And whatever that depressed fog it put me in has lifted. Now I know it works great for some people but for me,it just didn't agree. So beware!!!!

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